Today will be my last post before i go MIA in blogging. Will come back till i get back my mind. start blogging because i overcome my emo. but it seems to come back now. so its time for me to stop for the time being. will come back till my mind is back to conscious ThankYou for being there for me for 9 month
WARNING !!! IT'S A LONG POST
having thought for the pass few week and i think i still can't overcome it. almost did sth in train just now. better dun mention. noelle is not her usual self recently. the best solution is to close this blog for the time being.
today my batchmate/squadmate/schoolmate/classmate ask this question. " IF I QUIT VIP, WILL 0908 COME ALONG" well, just can't give a perfect answer for it. but to me, u wanna quit VIP, i suppose sth had happen to u or what. and if u did, i will quit too. That's my answer.
anyway, must thanks Stephen and XinYu in teaching me to ice skate that day.
MUMMY i'm telling you this. if u trying to stop my last motivation in my life, i'm going to fiight 'pin' with you. NAG is all u want. can't u just notice i'm not myself. SHAME ON YOU dun claim that u know me cause i dun even know about u.
out of sudden i feel so stupid and etc. i'm so clumsy. clumst to dirty my clothes today clumsy to dirty LTK3 today clumsy to have hole in my mouth
I NEED SOMETHING TO VENT MY ANGER ON !!!!!!!
lastly, i dun want to be a burden of anyone. if i can choose, i would rather not to be on the earth so don't be worry about me i dun want to bring any burden to anyone. so better dun let me caught you having thought because of me.
I LOVE (nt in rank) 1. sister ( hougang and sengkang gang) 2. REDCROSS (serangoon u guys never disappoint in your VI.keep the good work) 3. VI friends (i always love the going out with you guys) 4. Secondary school friend thats all. and if u notice, family was not there hate is more than loving
anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGNES !!!! the 7th year friendship (eventhough nt that deep) LOLS.
the end. come back after i recover.
This is for my peoples Who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby Your man or your lady Put your hand way up high We will never say bye No, no, no Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers Friends and cousins This is for my peoples Who lost their grandmothers Lift your head to the sky Cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times I didn't get it But you kept me in line I didn't know why You didn't show up sometimes On Sunday mornings and I missed you But I'm glad we talked through All them grown folk things Separation brings You never let me know it You never let it show Because you loved me and obviously There's so much more left to say If you were with me today Face to face
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on I wish I could talk to you for a while Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And it's true that you've Reached a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And be right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say Bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye
You never got a chance to see How good I've done And you never got to See me back at number one I wish that you were here To celebrate together I wish that we could Spend the holidays together I remember when you used to Tuck me in at night With the teddy bear you gave me That I held so tight I thought you were so strong You'd make it through whatever It's so hard to accept the fact You're gone forever
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on I wish I could talk to you for a while Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And it's true that you've Reached a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And be right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say Bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye
This is for my peoples Who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby Your man or your lady Put your hand way up high We will never say bye Mamas, daddys, sisters, brothers Friends and cousins This is for my peoples Who lost their grandmothers Lift your head to the sky Cause we will never say bye, bye.
I never knew I could hurt like this And everyday life goes on I wish I could talk to you for a while Miss you but I try not to cry As time goes by And it's true that you've Reached a better place Still I'd give the world to see your face And be right here next to you But it's like you're gone too soon Now the hardest thing to do is say Bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye Bye bye
spirits
Thursday, July 17, 2008
i got a redcross spirit, up in my head! deep in my heart! all over me!
thats only occur to redcross
i got a nursing spirit, up in my head ? deep in my heart ? all over me ?
occur during school.
anyway, siyun say i've change. but she dunno that i nv change but just follow. i think that if i happen to disappear on the earth, no one will ever notice it. 1 person less in the worl make no differ as i'm just the 0.00000..........1%
noelle
Audition to throw my thought away
i blog this photo is because i want u all to look at the name. anyway, i'm husiblur. and i happen to saw anton and derek in npc. LOLS. okay. blog for fun.
FAILURE
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
i've fail in whatever i do. fail in the sense that i've fail in my life. i just have this stupid though in my head recently.
i've failed 1. failed as a group leader in project. 2. failed to be a friend 3. failed to be a student 4. failed to be a vi 5. failed to mug harder 6. failed to keep a piece of paper properly
failed = failure failure = failed
and it's equal to "SHI BAI"
i can no longer hand my trust over to anyone cause i scared of getting betray again
I'M SCREW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
HOW horrible can i be for just a day? NOELLE I HATE YOU just for a day.
Recently i feel so lifeless. like u have just lost the aim in ur life. sleepy whole day long. either went home to sleep when there's long hour break or jolly well skip the last few lec and go home sleep. i wonder why if i have 8hr per day for sleeping, i still need extra time for me to rest. maybe i use too much computer or what?
i quarrel with mum again. for no reason, she nag again. i was trying my best to study hard and her music (nagging) keep going. i dunno if i'm right or wrong. just so confuse.
thanks siyun. well, i got no people to turn to. is always her or aihui is the one who can make my screw open abit. thx for giving idea. but i think i simply adding more stuff into ur day. sorry.
well, suppose to turn to others. but i think i shall stop adding ur stress lvl and etc.
well all, i dun like myself. my attitude. i dun like the way i'm in school. try walking the school compound on ur own when ur bud is nt around in school for 2 days.
i just can't stay long from anti emoing and i know it. just dun wanna admit it i get easily emo esp. after june. life is getting more and more upset for me. is that the way? well, i dun even know what i'm typing now. anyway, take care.
a few mth back, i'm excited about it a few mth later, i got no motivation to go on.
smiling is a reason not to let others around me get worried but the truth is, i never even smile at the first place
okay. i sound like saddies already.
noelle
Monday, July 14, 2008
Went blog hop like what aihui say. Well, before i see aihui blog and anyone else, i thought of blogging about my darling on my way home. true enough, everyone really seems to blog about each other. is that telepathy?
wow. i have nt have this feeling of my sisterhood around me for long time le.
AiHui : i miss the time when i talk lame joke with u and u say noel dun lame lar miss ur generous smile miss the time i confine my problem with you miss the time where we always meet in ladies during MT lesson miss the time where u console me during emo days miss the time when we tickle lk together miss the time when we laugh together
LK : i miss the time u sleep in ur class and we grab hold of ur sleeping photo miss the time where u got to spend $150+ in a day miss the time where we look for job together miss the time when we are so zilian miss the time when u are taller than me =X miss the time when u watch movies with me Miss the time when aihui and i tickling u miss the time when we laugh together
Sandy : i miss the time when you do sponge bob laughing miss the time when we get to go out miss the time when we always lauugh together for lame joke miss the time when we always hit each other miss the time when we laugh together miss the time when we get to smile and smack each other
that all for hougang gang ^^
Jasmine i miss the time when we quarrel miss the time when we always sing together in KBOX miss the time when we skip MT lesson together miss the time when we sing in school compound before exam miss the time when we are comparing our result miss the time when we get together
MinYi i miss the time when we lame together (ofcourse nt our leg) miss the time when we play together miss the time when we see you dramatic
SiYun i miss the time where we are all so emoing miss the time when we mug together before o lvl miss the time when we sat in the school toilet and ___ miss the time when we are half emo when we are studying miss the time when we encourage each other to be strong miss the time when u say stop bullying lk larh miss the time when i share my problem with u miss the time when we both can't concentrate miss the time that we both sing emo song while ___ in toilet miss the time where we have our night study
Thats all for sengkang gang.
abit emo now. i can't keep to my promise. i super damn miss my girl. when can we den have our gathering? is TP, NYP and RP that far?
GIRLS, i really miss you all.
NO FULLSTOP CAN STOP AND END OUR FRIENDSHIP. EVERLASTING SISTER LOVE !!
shall blog about 0908 gathering next time
emo ? noelle >.<
Friday, July 11, 2008
Yesterday i had the last sociology with trina. i'm quite sad. Trina lecture is always the most enjoyable one and thats the reason y i go school on thursday i remember what she say yesterday. that time she was studying and she think that she is going to fail, she switch on the tv and this is the snoopy show and right now this video is still in her computer. well, i feel that the video is so touch larh. here's the video from youtube.
p.s: i got it in my computer too. its a motivation
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE LAM !!!
smile noelle [=
Thursday, July 10, 2008
STUDY TIME !!!
exam timetable are out and i'm bombard with all the ICA and semestral exam. okay, i flung my clinical test. There's 2 section. 1. vital sign 2. NG feeding. and guess what? I FLUNG THE EASIER ONE AND PASS THE DIFFICULT ONE. oh man. noelle you are definately crazy. u pass what the other fail and fail what the other pass. i do think that i'm mad somehow one way or another.
i should nt criticise people on my blog. but i super mad about this guy in my class. u wanna know just ask me.
lesson start late today and i'm slacking now. bio test on next wed and i still got time for 09/08 gathering. crap. totally crap. if i say i got no time to study, i'll be self encouraging myself cause i got time to go study if i got time to play.
anyway, nxt year i think school unit wun be that great after i get a shock of my life few day back. well, shall see how yea?
Smile noelle [=
flashback
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Once you see momo, it is actually name after
IT'S MO MO DAY !!
okay. i'm abit mo mo i swear. how can i be back in this mood as fast as i thought? today was celebrating sis'jasmine birthday wif minyi and yun but it dun seems to be a pleasant one. you guys know what happen last night. but i still enjoy it. meet up with junior, jasmine cheah and cheejean i was stonning all alone. seeing the cadet improvement and everything make me worth being a vi. well, think my batchmate. stephen will be proud of it too. junior praise us infront on me of our effort done after the pass down of senior. i'm damn touch. at least our hardwork is pay off. omg. tears are dropping off ahead.
i'm trusting all my reader. so, dun disappoint me.
Redcross in sec life remember the amount of breakdown i have, the mia-ing of vicechair and everything. really appreciate everyone during that time. if nt i would also be a mia cadet. how tough was all the work done that time. how many time i wanna give up and yet the encouragement by peer. appreciate lots. how can 2 people hang on to whole unit? whenever i think of this, i'll just have tears flowing down. in VIP, and now.
Secondary School life it wasn't easy in my school life too.
Sec 1 and 2 a loner for 2 years is definately nt a easy life for me to adapt in sec1 and sec2. remember the time being verbally abuse and everything, it simply dun feel good. being a girl who always being call a bull dog? no doubt i'm round at that time and so am i now. but at least better. but it is really hard for me to accept my life. remember the time i went back home and cry. no fail that i will cry everyday. its like a habit, a appointment that... that noel choong will cry everytime she reach home because of school attitude change from then on. i've close friend and buddy but i ended losing all of them in sec 3. MY TRUST TO THEM WAS MY MISTAKE. some of them they betray me
Sec3 and 4 i though i'll change my life. but i dun seems to be happening in this case. getting sick of school in first 2 year, it make me feel worthless going school for next 2 year. i get sick of going to school i dun get much friend too. i stop going together with my sec 1&2 friend. feel left out. have a silent quarrel with jas which i also dunno what had happen i know some might be adding salt. but i wanna say thankyou agnes. thanks for trying to patch us up. u rules. i always have no chance to say thank to u. i sucess. we talk. but not as close as before. being a loner in recess during a period of time. the time where i feel that time had just stop. how i wish it move faster. till then my sis' came i found the friend where i can confine my trust and everything to them i think i should post their name here. Aihui, Leekiang and Sandhya. at that time was already may. how fast my loner life pass. if they didn't approach me, i would still be a loner by then. trust and promise in them was safe. its like i've found a house/family that's in school. i can confine them with my worry and its keep secretly. they are those few that gain my trust. I LOVE YOU GIRLS! WE ARE HOUGANG GANG !!! sec4, being close to siyun thru geography class and follow up, friendship with jas are much more stable and i know minyi after that. JAS, SiYun and MinYi they are the sengkang gang. being close to them, i spend most of my emo-ing period before o lvl with them. and i remember i have my emo-ing from march to after o.mid nov. i know all the sister, aihui, leekiang, sandhya, jas, siyun and minyi have a tough time with me when i'm emoing in night study and mother tongue class. we always went outside and sing chinese song. and minyi, i miss ZAIZAI the book. and YEZI!! a tough time indeed, if nt all those i've gone through, i might not be able to find all the friend. i treasure them and i wun let anything happen to them i swear.!
my road to VIP and VI life a tough choice to join vip and i've never expect myself to join. i;ve ask around and found some people who are interested. so i told myself to give it a try. well, these people arz... 1.darren 2, paulina 3. Mathew arz.. these peoplearz.. say want join den motivate us untill we try and these people don't want to go. how horrible esp. mathew.bleh! =P my ulp mate arz..
went vip together with stephen, afidah my dear ulp a3, yirui and chinkheng. shermaine who suppose to join us ignore our call on that morning. was abit disappointing. but the best thing was to see joyce and fion there. and chin kheng was same group as me. bleah =P hans.. the hans shop who eat alot in camp unity. however, he seems to eat less in VIP. camp i'm very quiet. i went for interview and remember how my mentor told me about my performance. i know i'm quiet lar. and i spend my 1st minute of my birthday in VIP day3 debrief by my comment after the day of cheif trainer interview. i remember of discouraging the push up in parade ground as i hurt my knee. den all of them was asking me, noel what happen. u talk soo much. last day, i put in courage to go for minute speech and i cried. yes. i was talking about my unit. and thanks to all. and some betrayer arh. call them dun say my birthday still say. but too bad. anyway that person get sabotage. make friend along the way and some drop out. but, they will still be my batchmate for life. vip retreat i wasn't there. i'm sick. blaming myself y. y do i get sick at such a lousy timing. lastly, I LOVE VIP 09/08
NYP NURSING i trust them. but they betray me. that's how i'm everytime i went to new school. always gt betray. end up the one who is the wrong one. maybe thats my life its always like that. i'll try to hang on. but as i go into my limit, i dunno what will happen
~the end~
i wondering how many ml of fluid i lost in this post. OMG. and i kill tree. feeling better now. that's my life. how am i suppose to TRUST people anymore. i dun have the faith anymore. i'm just scared the more i trust, the more i'll get hurt... getting a flash back is the most scary thing ever.
Special thanks hey, thanks for the talk ytd. i think you do make a point out of it batchmate/squadmate/schoolmate/classmate i'll see how.
and thankyou. u make me smile from mo mo . a thousand thanks to you. stop worrying.i dun want you to get affected okay. i'm also scared you get mo mo. CHILL!!
and to all the sis' i love. thanks for being around me when i really need help there. u brought my darkness into lightness. all i can say is I LOVE YOU SISTERS'!!
oh ya!! HAPPY FRIENDSHIP ANNIVERSARY MY HOUGANG GANG !!!
&
HAPPY BIRHTDAY YU HUI MA'AM !!
&
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA MA'AM
i dun feel like going to work. should i quit?
eye swollen but feel better noelle
Thursday, July 3, 2008
today i've meet up with jas for some walk at causeway point. but we somehow end up sitting at mos burger chit chatting. there dun have the GSS atmosphere. so disappointing. finally got time to shop... =( well, we end up taking photo. so this is a photo blog
The UNGLAM jas took it when i'm nt notice...
Perhaps i pose for this....
We are playing a FOOL.. (:
The Edit... /=
And...
The GLAM !!
hahas.
it's been century since i last took a photo on myself. i'm seriously high to be with my sisters' (= hope to see her more often in nyp.
after that, we went our way back to woodland interchange was waiting for our another sister siyun, who doesn't feel very good recently.
anyway, we manage to go home together of course.. and bestie athirah was there too.. awman. i miss her much since the last outing which was before school start.
okay.. they are saying noel choong grow fatter.. gotta slim down i tell u. i hope to hear this next time ..
"you are back to ur sec 4 size"
anyway, i'm happy due to the people around me that encourage me to smile. THANK YOU. !!