like what people,
what effort u put in to certain thing,
you will get outcome for it.
what if u tried so hard,
but u're a slow learner and you can't be perfect.

i'm tired of myself.
no one to talk to, i'm tired.
i dun feel like waking up.

well,
today went to pray, den i realise i've become empty.
so empty.

been keep questioning to myself now.
when people need me to be there,
i'm always there for them.
but if 1 day, i need someone to be there,
who will?

tried to hold on to this friendship.
and i know i got to let go
but it's so hard to let go and my heart is so pain
why is it so pain?


quote from someone:
"if they are not mine
they won't be mine no matter how hard i try to hold on to them"
so i guess we're just not meant to be.

quote from someone again:
"u just need one person to rmb u :)"
and thankyou for remembering me.

human are self-fish.
who don't?

perhaps i'm physically and mentally tired.
too much thing from heart i just could not say out.

whatever it is, thank you for the beautiful memory.

happy birthday to me
hahahahas

after today i realise how many friend i got.
because those that wish you are your friend as u didn't leave ur birthday on facebook
so today when mum asked me didn't your friend celebrate with you?
i goes i got no friend.
it's freaking sad that your 5 years close friend can't even remember your birthday.
lucky at least 2 of them wish me.
and the rest, thank you.

friends are all around but after today i know who are the really great friend of mine.
they remember your birthday not because they see facebook.
but because they remember it.
though great disappointment are around but still,
i'll get over it.

anyway there's always someone who will never wish you happy birthday dispite of anything.
decided not to stay in the spot and wait.
i'll move on. (but saying it is easy, doing it is hard)

Sometime,

Many thing happen these few days
2days back was scolding myself idiot because i always think for others
but it's those not obvious de.
seldom people will think of how i feel.
suddenly this thought came to my mind and i was thinking
why
why
why do i always want to make people happy and stuff thats why i stay in that way.
but right now, i can't let go of that role.
not now.
idiot right?
maybe i just didn't let go.

today did girls hh.
and i think i did it badly or what
because i didn't get comment when everyone have it.
she utterly just skip my turn.
was kind of piss and sad.
cause i dun always get comment.
sometime i think she's biased.
those who are close with her she will teach them lots of thing
but for those not so close, she don't even help you.
i wonder if it's my fault or she just didn't want to tell me what to improve on.
telling myself maybe she forget about me.
i tried my best. really did. but maybe i was not that good.
i really don't know.

SDD coming and i wonder if i can commit well not.
PRCP is coming and i don't wish to fail it.
really don't wish to flung it.

i'm confuse and sad.
dance is the only thing but still,
no comment is given which lead me to no where.
no where.