Was disappointed with myself.
I think it's about dance again.
I've see people improving but yet, i'm not improving.
Everyone is at least good at something.
Yiwen: good at giving power to steps.
Yihui: good at girly groove
Ricson&Jake: good at learning fast and they know all sort of dance
Khair: good at rotation
Gkiew: good at hiphop
Sheng,kion,kenneth,gan: they are the BBOY GANG YO!
Joyce: grooving super good
and more and more.

They at least have 1 thing thats good.
what about me?
I'm lost.
not improving though i try hard during practice.
HOW? HOW? HOW?

If anyone were to read my blog now, tell me.

I tried to stud, theory in my head/not in my head.
i try to do past year paper it's sucks.
I can't even get a single knowledge outta of my head.

EVERYTHING THAT I CAN DO, I CAN'T MASTER A SINGLE THING OUT OF HERE.
HOW ???

was suppose to be hiatus.
but was very emotion.
today suppose to go somewhere in the morning but i was feeling tummy pain.
super guilty.

i remembered asking mummy
why we have to come here to look for ah ma?
why must we walk so long to the place?
where are we going?
isn't ah ma staying at uncle house?

but when i grew up.
i know alot of truth behind everything.
my one and only ah ma when i was born,
she was suppose to stay in my uncle house.
i always thought that because my cousin want a room of her own,
that's why she was force to move to nursing home.
But until today,
mum was saying about my aunt taking care of other people 80+ parents
she told the truth.
she mentioned that they lock ah ma outside the house door.
and it's never was ah ma fault for having a failure in eyesight because she's old.
it was never her fault for being smelly at time because she have incontinence.
it was never her fault.

I would never let anyone do that to my parents.
BECAUSE I SIMPLY DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO ABANDON THEIR OWN KIN!
and because they do that,
i have to tell them "YOU GUYS SIMPLY NOT FILIAL"
and "YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!"
a jerk to even abandon your own parent in nursing home.
everyone is at fault.
but their fault is the most unforgiveness one.

will be backwhen i'm feeling alright.

Defination of Locking from wiki!
Locking (originally Campbellocking) is a style of funk dance, which is today also associated with hip hop. The name is based on the concept of locking movements, which basically means freezing from a fast movement and "locking" in a certain position, holding that position for a short while and then continuing in the same speed as before. It relies on fast and distinct arm and hand movements combined with more relaxed hips and legs. The movements are generally large and exaggerated, and often very rhythmic and tightly synced with the music. Locking is quite performance oriented, often interacting with the audience by smiling or giving them a high five, and some moves are quite comical in nature. A dancer who performs locking is called a locker. Lockers commonly use a distinctive dress style, such as colorful clothing with stripes and suspenders.

Locking was originally danced to traditional funk music, such as James Brown. Funk music is still commonly favored by locking dancers, and used by many competitions such as the locking division of Juste Debout. Locking movements create a strong contrast towards the many fast moves that are otherwise performed quite continuously, combined with mime style performance and acting towards the audience and other dancers. Locking includes quite a lot of acrobatics and physically demanding moves, such as landing on one's knees and the split. These moves often require knee protection of some sort.

Defination of HIPHOP from wiki!
Hip-hop dance refers to social or choreographed dance styles primarily danced to hip-hop music or that have evolved as part of hip-hop culture. This includes a wide range of styles notably breaking, locking, and popping which were developed in the 1970s by Black and Latino Americans. What separates hip-hop dance from other forms of dance is that it is often freestyle (improvisational) in nature and hip-hop dancers frequently engage in battles—formal or informal freestyle dance competitions. Informal freestyle sessions and battles are usually performed in a cipher, a circular dance space that forms naturally once the dancing begins. These three elements—freestyling, battles, and ciphers—are key components of hip-hop dance.

Flavour
Had a open talk with the senior and batchy during fb chalet.
i asked about flavour.
and it was mentioned that flavour is actually something hw you want people to see you.
It's ur personality.
so slowly, i'll put in personality in to my dance alright?

back to reality
yeap. and Fbodz junior did cipher today and i did cabbage.
SO COOL!
that's my favourite.
we learn the elf and etc. today.
tomorrow going danz people for ash ali class with yihui, yiwen and char.
hope it will be fun tomorrow. :D

Like what twins mentioned, there's no use to be pXXX with something that's so small.
i'll just forget it. thanks twins!

So happy. I've got over it. like finally.
aihui, feel happy for me. :D

This is my beloved BLING BLING NIKE high dunk shoe
which is with me since april.

I love this shoe ttm because it protect me and my leg when it's injure,
till now.
and i will keep it from staying with me till the end of its life. :D

If you guys thought i have forgotten my dream,
you're so wrong.
It's just that i choose to focus on dance first.
when i got the enough capital,i'll get myself electric!
yes, so in love with rock music.
ELECTRIC GUITAR will be next.
Follow by electric piano and electric violin.

Start to play piano again today
since i've finally reach home early after all these busy weeks
and have been emo.
Playing piano is always the cure.
skill fade like *(#*%&#Q(
and i manage to play wozhidao on piano today. hahas. :D

I just can't.
can't show the real me to people
i did show to some and get condem. THANKS LO!

but anw, i need time to open up to people and talk to them.
i know i have no much time because i'm leaving NYP already.
but i'll try my best to talk to people around me.

if only i've join cca earlier, thing might not turn out to be the same.
but i'm glad i join this year. :D
atleast i won't regret.
i'll miss the wonderful cca, wonderful class, wonderful school life.
tomorrow might be my last performance.
i'll treasure it very much.
mum asked me to stop dancing.
i thought that was crazy cause i will miss dancing.
but on the another hand, she's trying to be good.
since exam, atachment and PRCP are coming already.
but...

0908 lets cherograph new song.
i miss cr9wix lots.

OMG.
i woke up late today and
i didn't get to help them out in the report cause i forget to send. *(#@&*@
kind of guilty now cause i didn't do anything.
i can only blame myself and no one.

will be busy with lots and lots of thing and
classmate started study already la.
Lunchtime performance ended yesterday.
It was so awesome lo.though my stage fright really did come back.
and up next with YOG item and paramedic assistant. so tiring.
i can feel that my leg is dying at anytime.
the fall from the toilet and that old injury.
lucky i can still walk like some normal kids if not i'll be super emo lo.
YOG practice later. just hope i'll be alright.

and lastly, my soul tell me that i'm tired
and yes, some rest please.

Is it just me or is it also occur to the rest?
i hate people being rude to me.
So when they are rude to me, i will rude to them back.
but if i accidentally rude to them, i would say sorry and that's me.

EMO and blah blah blah always happen.
Junelee said in today lecture that having a negative thought is not healthy.
But do i look like i have a choice when i can't even open up to people whoare quite close to me except a few.
I'm kind of people who need to take a long time to build up on relation with anyone.
and i take time to improve to know other more.

Leg pain come and go.
it's hurting me during performance.i said to myself that i need to complete.
den flashmob practice it pain again.
i hate myself from doing BBOY 1 year back.
but my passion will never die.

不管发生什么事，发泄一下，告诉别人，心情会好一点。
发泄完了记得，还是要忍。除非已经到忍无可忍的地步
(i always experience that. and the feeling totally sux)
it's just that when my fiend experience it, i don't know how to explain it.

I have Stage fright.
Whenever i'm on stage, i'll forget everything.
The best thing of all is that it happen only on the actual thing.
Wish me luck

Have been damn weak lo.
Suspect i have PID, ataxia.
i don't know how many problem i have.
leg is getting worse. TOLERATE is the word i use.

yesterday fell in toilet, today almost fall in bus.

Whatsup for tomorrow?

Thanks people for comforting me and i think i'm fine.
i'm not going to get upset with all these smal thing.
i'll try to be strong.

going to look at some video tomorrow morning to get some pose of sexiness.

hi bobbi.
this is sylvia dog. Damn cute right?
Anw, today i ♥ sylvia TTM.
thanks for all the sms. i seriously dunno how to reply. :D
today i had a fall in my house toilet.
i wonder is which killer who want me to die so early.
today less emo.
cause everything is so pack and it keep my attention away from all those emotion.

today at dance, i was ask not to use the same strength of energy at all time.
i tried. but the thing is i don't know how to. I need time..
but time is running out and we only got 1 more day.

Saturday morning despite of the offer to drive me there, i refused.
The night before was dam XXX and yes,
that morning i wasn't feeling good and need sometime alone.
In the end i was scolded to be "ti ki", stubbon.
But frankly speaking, who does not want to be alone when they are XXX?

stop dancing for 3 days and left leg don't seems to be any better.
irritated. regreted trying out bboy one year back.

Thanks SYOG for your wonderful planning that i'm going to start duty on 8/8 and
I JUST FREAKING KNOW IT TODAY.
i'm going to miss my 0908 gathering and it simply sux u know.
i don't care if you see this a not SYOG but i seriouosly think that you guys are CMI in planning.
I seriously regret for joining the paramedic.

i hope i'll be alrite later. School is always the one that stop me from XXX.
cause i got nth to think.
I'm still awake at 4am.
Great. If i can't wake up, i'll skip my lecture.

i'm full of regret now.
but nth seems to help.
wanted to find someone to rant on my life,
but i can't.
too much thing go on and i just don't know where to start from.
i'm sorry but i just don't know where to start from.
may be that's me.